Rated M for Mental Health
Porn can be a source of curiosity, comfort, and even pleasure—an experience that for many blends into daily life without conflict. Yet for others, over time, it shifts from a deliberate choice into an almost unconscious habit. It might start as a welcome escape when life feels overwhelming, later becoming a routine that leaves you feeling empty rather than fulfilled. If you’ve ever paused to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this again?” know that you are not alone.
We rarely acknowledge just how easily we slip into patterns that offer immediate relief yet don’t truly serve us. Porn can distract from stress, smooth over difficult emotions, or provide a fleeting sense of control when things feel chaotic. However, when it becomes the primary strategy for coping, it can begin to reshape our relationships, sexuality, and even the way we view ourselves (Brand et al., 2022).
Over time, individuals who habitually use porn may begin to notice a feeling of disconnection—a difficulty fully engaging in intimacy or a subtle distancing from their partner. The brain can become conditioned to respond to a screen—a perfectly edited, high-intensity, one-sided interaction—which takes its toll on genuine emotional and physical connection. In fact, studies indicate that frequent exposure to digital stimuli, including porn, may alter neural pathways related to arousal and intimacy, potentially desensitizing our real-life responses (Kraus et al., 2016). Other research has also linked these neural adaptations to issues such as erectile dysfunction, suggesting that the impact of such stimuli can extend to sexual performance (Sukenik, 2025).
Relationships can also be affected in unexpected ways. When porn use starts to get wrapped up in secrecy or shame, it’s like an invisible wall beginning to form between partners. Over time, that wall can make trust and open communication harder, as lingering guilt and internal conflicts create a kind of emotional distance (Grubbs et al., 2019). On top of that, the way mainstream porn often spotlights over-the-top performance, dominance, and constant novelty can set up unrealistic expectations about sex. Studies have found that these skewed images can change what people expect from intimacy, ultimately affecting relationship satisfaction and stability (Willoughby, 2023; Sniewski & Farvid, 2020).
This conversation isn’t about demonizing porn. It’s about exploring the role it plays in managing emotions and whether it might be masking deeper issues that need attention. Therapy can provide a judgment-free space to untangle these patterns and develop healthier ways of coping. In fact, emerging evidence suggests that with supportive guidance, individuals can redefine their approach to intimacy and regain a more authentic connection with themselves and their partners (Mestre-Bach & Potenza, 2023). Ultimately, embracing self-awareness and reflecting on your needs can open new avenues for genuine connection.
If porn use has begun weighing you down, remember that there’s always room for understanding, honest exploration, and change—a path forward that honors your values and goals. Consider taking a quiet moment to reflect on what nurtures the connections you cherish. Whether it’s engaging in a supportive conversation, exploring resources that offer a fresh perspective, or gently challenging old habits, even small steps can lead to a richer and more meaningful experience of intimacy—and we are here to help, just a phone call away.
References
Brand, M., Blycker, G. R., & Potenza, M. N. (2022). Problematic pornography use—Beyond addiction. Nature Reviews Psychology, 1(8), 488–501. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44159-022-00080-6
Grubbs, J. B., Perry, S. L., Wilt, J. A., & Reid, R. C. (2019). Pornography problems due to moral incongruence: An integrative model with a systematic review and meta-analysis. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 48(2), 397–415. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-1248-x
Kraus, S. W., Martino, S., & Potenza, M. N. (2016). Clinical characteristics of men interested in seeking treatment for use of pornography. Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 5(2), 169–178. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.5.2016.019
Mestre-Bach, G., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). Pornography use, problematic pornography use, and potential impacts on partners and relationships. Current Addiction Reports, 10, 219–229.
Sniewski, L., & Farvid, P. (2020). Problematic pornography use: A review of current theories and perspectives. New Zealand Journal of Psychology, 49(2), 44–56.
Sukenik, D. (2025, April 19). How porn can literally change your brain—and has even been linked to erectile dysfunction. New York Post. https://nypost.com/2025/04/19/health/how-porn-can-literally-change-your-brain/
Willoughby, B. (2023, March 09). Pornography use at any level harms romantic relationships, says new BYU study. BYU News Intellect. Retrieved from https://news.byu.edu/intellect/pornography-use-at-any-level-harms-romantic-relationships-says-new-byu-study